+Bishop Jon V. Anderson

“How do we stay on the same page – in a time of disorientation and disillusionment as we live deeper into this time of COVID-19?” Pr. Art Wiese raised this question in a conversation with our Conference Ministers this week. It keeps popping up in my mind.

The biggest virus we are dealing with is fear. Our fears are appropriate in some ways as we try to understand this virus and this threat to our way of doing life and church. Our fears are both personal and communal.

Fear can lead to us sliding into freezing, fleeing or fighting in our family, friendship circles, communities of faith and workplaces. This article will focus on congregational health, but the concepts can also be translated into proactive work in these other spheres of your life.

As we move forward in this experience with COVID-19, I would suggest you make time to talk about how to stay healthy together. In the long run it will save time. I invite you to have a proactive conversation about healthy governance and relationships within your council, committees, boards and staff (if your congregation has one). In the appendix to this article I have a series of Congregational Council and/or Staff Covenants. (Unfortunately, I did not do a good job of documenting where I collected them through the years.) The article and covenants are one set of tools that will help inoculate against the ways fears can become destructive.

Taking some time to read through the various ways people have sought to create a healthy staff or governance team will help you enter a conversation, discernment and decisions if you have not already created such a tool. If you have, the conversation may provoke you to recover the use of this tool and reform it to serve in our current time. In either case a small writing team could sit down and bring a recommendation back for adoption.

Pr. Stephen Cook has studied systems and congregational health. He often says that “healthy structure corrals anxiety.” These covenants can be fruitful in that way.

This image that was first shared by Pr./Dr. Hollie Holt Woehl in a meeting with our pastors has been helpful to me the deeper we go into this experience.

This event is different than a hurricane, tornado or wildfire. This experience is a messier event, unfolding slower over time, with more uncertainty about how it will damage multiple sectors of life. (Here is the link to this graph and other resources https://www.episcopalrelief.org/press-and-resources/resource-library/)

Destructive conflict is the kind of virus we also need to inoculate against in this way. “You don’t get to choose if you will be in conflict, you only get to choose who you want to be in conflict.” That is a quote I have kept through the years above my desk in my office. Tension and conflict can be constructive like labor brings the birth of a new child.

It is good to make time to work on your self-awareness in midst of this intense and exhausting time. I am beginning to be better at naming many of my fears. I am also aware of anger that simmers below the surface and threatens to bubble over in strange and surprising ways revealing my frustration and impatience. For example, take time to do proactive work through what this time. Find your way in prayer, meditation, reading, podcasts, conversations or friends. These investments will bear fruit for you and the people around you.

Our congregations exist to invite people into following Jesus and send them out to care for God’s world. In this time out of our buildings, it is easier to remember Christ is our center. The Good News that God is for us and with us. The Gospel reminds us that God can twist the horror of the cross into a symbol of life. Our resurrecting God can take our failures and brokenness and twist it into something God can use. But it is always better to not fall into the river of trouble or tragedy. God’s Spirit is working in and through us in these days, creating and sustaining our faith. We give thanks to God.

¹⁵“If another member of the church^[^d^] sins against you,^[^e^] go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.^[^f^] ¹⁶But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

Resources to partner this article:

Covenants of Leadership Behavior by Gil Rendle

(An Article on this subject. The author has also written a book on this subject.)

Efforts to lead change are often defeated or sabotaged, not by open and honest disagreement, but by inappropriate, unhelpful, or indirect behaviors. Board members who do not say what they think while sitting at the board table but who hold their opinions only to express them freely in the parking lot after the meeting sabotage what can be done to reach agreement. Leaders who understand their role as a responsibility to fight for their own personal preferences or for the preferences of a subgroup in the congregation force discernment of the future into a win/lose proposition. Leaders who openly share their disagreement with board decisions only after the decision has been made undermine any effective leadership toward change.

When working with congregations that have been experiencing such behavioral barriers to effective leadership and decision making, I often recommend the development of a “covenant of leadership” to uphold. It is not a set of rules that, if broken, will result in a hand slap for the offender. Rules make relationships rigid. They constrain. They limit. Covenants, on the other hand, offer us goals that are in keeping with the values and teaching of our faith. They give us a way to talk about the behavior and practices we adopt in our work together as leaders who wrestle with change and with differences.

When developing a covenant of leadership with a group of congregational leaders, I often begin with some of the problems the board has been experiencing and with some basic information about healthy conflict. The group then develops positive statements about healthy and appropriate behavior around which they are willing to covenant with one another. The list of covenant behaviors becomes a formal, written reminder to the people about the behaviors by which they are seeking to live. Below is an example of a covenant of leadership from one governing board.

A COVENANT OF LEADERSHIP

Our Promises to God
We promise to pray, alone and together, to thank God and to ask for God’s help in our lives and in our work for our church, and we promise to listen to God’s answer to us.

Our Promises to Our Church Family
We promise to demonstrate our leadership and commitment to our church by our example.
We promise to support our church’s pastors and staff, so their efforts can be most productive.
We promise to try to discover what is best for our church as a whole, not what might be best for us or for some small group in the church.

Our Promises to Each Other on [the Governing Board]
We promise to respect and care for each other.
We promise to treat our time on [the board] as an opportunity to make an important gift to our church.
We promise to listen with an open, nonjudgmental mind to the words and ideas of the others in our church and on [the board.]
We promise to discuss, debate, and disagree openly in [board] meetings, expressing ourselves as clearly and honestly as possible, so we are certain the [board] understands our point of view.
We promise to support the final decision of [the board], whether it reflects our view or not.

This group of leaders wrestled with the specific behaviors and attitudes that were causing them problems in working effectively in their congregation. Their covenantal promises came out of understanding themselves and choosing to practice values and behaviors of their faith that could change their life and work together. Other congregations that have developed covenants of leadership have necessarily developed different lists that speak to their own needs. Each leadership group needs to identify and address the issues and behaviors relevant for them.

The value of such covenants is not in the ability to enforce the behaviors. Like any tool of change, the value is in raising the appropriate issues and behaviors to a level of awareness and offering ways to have helpful and safe (nonblaming) conversations about them. Two ways that a tool such as a covenant of leadership can be used for this purpose are:

Read the covenant in unison at the beginning of a board meeting to remind people of the covenant goals they have accepted for their working life together.
Spend five minutes in small group or full group discussion of the covenant at the end of a board meeting, asking for descriptive responses to questions such as, How are you doing with the covenant? or How do you think we as a board are doing with our covenant? or Which of our covenant promises do you think we are struggling with the most?

Covenantal behaviors can be offered to leaders and members alike, not as constraining prohibitions, but as spiritual disciplines of community. If faith communities such as congregations do not wish to default to cultural standards and practices, they will need to practice discipline. Although such disciplines of faith are a part of all our faith traditions, the people of our communities need, and often seek, clarity about which disciplines to follow and how to put them into practice.

Alban Roundtable Blog
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Behavioral Covenant for Council Adoption

Posted by Bishop Jon V. Anderson on the SW MN Synod Blog (April 8, 2011)

I don’t remember where I found this. It may be from the BridgeBuilder ministry of Peter Steinke. It gives simple wisdom for congregational councils that can go a long way in helping leadership systems serve more effectively.

“Covenant of Conduct for Church Councils”

Council members affirm their right to express their opinions about the life and ministry of the congregation. Members can disagree but do not fight.
The congregation operates with a direct democracy form of government that allows members to share their opinions directly with the Pastors, church council, commissions, and at congregational meetings.
When members of the congregation express an opinion to a member of the council, the council person shall ask, “What would you like me to do with this information?”
1. If the member desires to have the information transmitted to the council, the member shall be invited to bring the information/opinion to the next council meeting. The time and date shall be given.
2. If the member does not wish to appear in person, the council member shall ask the member for permission to use their name in reporting. If permission is not given, the council member shall say, “I’m sorry but I will not be able to report this to the council since we do not deal with anonymous letters or comments.”
3. If permission is given, the council member shall report the information/ opinion to the council and use the member’s name.
4. At his/her discretion, a council member may ask that the member refer this issue to another council member for presentation.
Each issue shall be placed on the agenda and written in the minutes along with the action taken by the council. Action may include, “Received as information,” “Pastor and/or President to visit member and report at next meeting,” etc.
Opinions may be shared in writing with the council and shall be handled in the above mentioned manner only if the letter or statement is signed.

Ground Rules for Meetings

Respect time
Respect each other
Listen and hear
Ask questions for clarity
Speak honestly
Concentrate on the problem NOT the person
Issues must be accompanied by a solution
Confidentiality

Covenant of Conduct for (Church Name) Lutheran Staff

Our Promise to God
We promise to pray alone and together, and promise to listen to your answer as we accept and help each other to do the best we can for your church.
We promise to use the gifts you have given us to the best of our ability for the good of your church.

Our Promise to Each Other on the Staff
We promise to respect, trust, care, and pray for each other.
We promise to rejoice in one another’s accomplishments, for the good of God’s work.
We promise to listen to each other with an open mind.
We promise to discuss, debate, and disagree openly in staff meetings.
We promise to be as clear and honest as possible so everyone understands our point of view.
We promise to support the final decision of the council and staff whether or not it reflects our personal view.
We promise that all issues brought before the staff will be directed to the appropriate person.

Our Promise to our Church Family
We promise to listen respectfully to all concerns brought to us.
We promise to offer spiritual, personal, and professional guidance where appropriate.
We promise to lead by example to the best of our ability.
We promise to support our church pastors and fellow staff so that their efforts can be most productive.
We promise to discover and do what is best for (Church Name) Lutheran Church as a whole.
We promise to maintain confidentiality and professionalism in all staff, church and congregational business.

Staff Guidelines for Conflict Resolution

We encourage our congregation to share their concerns and/or opinions directly with pastors, church council, committees, or staff.
We accept that all members have the right to respectfully express their opinion about the life and ministry of our congregation.
When a member of the congregation expresses a concern and/or problem to a staff member, the staff member will direct the member to the appropriate person.
If the member desires the information/opinion to be given to the council, the member will be directed to a council member.
If the conflict is with another member of the staff, the staff member will ask if he/she have approached this person first (as in Matthew 18), to work toward a resolution.
If the issue is not resolved after going directly to the one with whom they have an issue, the staff member will ask a member of the executive board/staff committee to come with them to try and resolve the issue.
If both of the above have been tried, the issue may be brought before the executive board/staff committee for further discussion and action.
We recognize the fact that differences are expected and when experiencing these, we will practice faithful behavior.

Covenant of Conduct for Members of (Church Name) Lutheran Church

Our Promise to God
We promise to you Lord God, to remember always your two greatest laws . . . “you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength . . . “ “ . . . you shall love your neighbor as yourself . . .” (Mark 12:29-31 NRSV).

We promise to you Lord Jesus Christ, to treat all your children with the respect due every child of God.

Our Promise to Each Other
I promise to you, brothers and sisters in Christ, that if I have a problem with you I will come to you directly. If I still have a problem, I will bring a fellow brother or sister in Christ. If the problem still exists I will then go to the church.
I promise that if you have a problem with me I will listen with an open heart.
I promise to you, to do all I can, to be a person who will live out my baptismal promise.

Covenant of Conduct for (Church Name) Lutheran Church Council

Our promise to God
We promise to discover and do what is best for your church.
We promise to use the gifts you have given us to the best of our ability for the good of your church.
We promise to pray alone and together, and promise to listen to your answer as we accept and help each other to do the best we can for your church.

Our promise to Each Other on the Council
We promise to respect, trust, care, and pray for each other.
We promise to listen to each other with an open mind.
We promise to discuss, debate, and disagree openly in council meetings.
We promise to be as clear and honest as possible so everyone understands our point of view.
We promise to support the final decision of the council, whether or not it reflects our personal view.
We promise that all issues brought to a council meeting will be discussed in open and clear debate, at that time, not in any other forum, without the council’s permission.

Our promise to our Church Family
We promise to listen respectfully to all concerns brought before us.
We promise to lead by example to the best of our ability.
We promise to support our church pastors and staff so that their efforts can be most productive.
We promise to discover and do what is best for (Church Name) Lutheran Church as a whole.

Council Guidelines for Conflict Resolution

We encourage our members to share their concerns and/or opinions directly with pastors, church council, committees, or staff.
We accept that all members have the right to respectfully express their opinion about the life and ministry of our congregation.
When a member of the congregation expresses a concern and/or problem to a council member, the council member will ask “what would you like me to do with this information?”
If the member desires the information/opinion be given to the council, the member will be invited to bring the information/opinion to the next meeting: (A) In person, or (B) via signed letter, or (C) by instructing the council member to bring it to the meeting on behalf of the member, by name. If permission is not given to use their name, the council member will not deal with it as we do not deal with anonymous information, and will clearly communicate this to the member who has expressed the concern and/or problem.
Each issue will be placed on the agenda and written in the minutes along with the action taken by the council.
If the conflict is with another member of the congregation the council member will ask if they have approached this person first (as in Matthew 18). The council member will encourage the member to contact the person with whom they have the issue to work toward resolution.
If the issue is not resolved after going directly to the one with whom they have an issue, the council member will ask if they and another member of the congregation can go with the member to try and resolve the issue.
If both of the above have been tried, the issue may be brought before the council for further discussion and action.
We recognize the fact that differences are expected and when experiencing these, we will practice faithful behavior.

Behavioral Covenant of Leadership and Conduct
By the Church Council of Our Savior’s Lutheran Church

In order for the Church Council to lead well this congregation in its mission and ministry, we make these promises:

Our Promise to God
We promise to pray, alone and together, to thank God, Praise God and to ask for God’s help in our lives and in our work for our Church, and we will seek to listen and discern God’s response.

Our Promise to Each Other on the Church Council
We promise to respect, care and pray for each other.
We promise to regard our time in the Church Council as an opportunity to make an important gift to our Church.
We promise to listen with an open, nonjudgmental mind to the words and ideas of the others in our Church and on the Church Council.
We promise to discuss, debate, dialogue, agree and disagree openly in Church Council meetings, expressing ourselves, as clearly and honestly as possibly, so that we are certain that the Council understands our point of view.
We promise to support the final decision of the Church Council, whether it reflects our view or not.
We promise to worship together often in Jesus’ name.

Our promise to our “Our Savior’s Lutheran Church” family.
We promise to demonstrate our leadership and commitment to our Church by our example.
We promise to support our Church pastors and staff so that their efforts can be most productive.
We promise to try to discover what is best for our Church as a whole, in pursuit of our congregation’s mission and vision, not what may be best for us or for some small group in the Church.
We promise to give caring attention to the life of this congregation seeing that the duties and responsibilities, as outlined in the constitution of this church, are fulfilled.
We promise to encourage our members to share their thoughts, opinions, and ideas about the life and ministry of the congregation.
We promise to support the congregation’s direct form of government that allows members to share their opinions directly with the pastors, Church Council, standing committees, and at congregational meetings.
We promise to practice the following disciplines in response to information and opinions so that these are processed effectively, respectfully and healthfully:

When members of the congregation express an opinion to a member of the Council, the Councilperson shall ask, saying to this effect, “What would you like me to do with this information?”
If the member desires to have the information transmitted to the Council, the member shall be invited to bring the information/opinion to the next Council meeting. The time and date shall be given.
If the member does not wish to appear in person, the Council member shall ask the member for permission to use their name in reporting. If permission is not given, the Council member shall say to this effect, “I am sorry but I will not be able to report this to the Council since we do not deal with anonymous letters, opinions, or comments.”
If permission is given, the Council member shall report the information/opinion to the Council and use the member’s name.
Each issue shall be placed on the agenda and written in the minutes along with the action taken by the Council. Action may include: “Received as information,” “Pastor and/or President to visit member and report at the next meeting,” etc.
Opinions may be shared in writing with the Council and shall be handled in the above-mentioned manner if the letter or statement is signed.
At his/her discretion, a Council member may ask that the member refer this issue to another Council member for presentation.